By the way, I am not interested in reading memoirs, but three years ago today, I not only read the biography of a young Dr. Paul Kalhanti, “When Breath Becomes Air”, but I read the end of the book. But got emotional and started crying. Paul is a young doctor who has studied literature, philosophy, biology, history, and medicine, and is going to be a neurosurgeon, as well as doing some of the best research in neuroscience (at such a young age). It’s not for everyone to have it all), a great future awaits him next to the pool and in the meantime, he learns that he has cancer and has very little time left.
I started to feel that a guy who has worked so hard to get to this point and whose career has just started doesn’t deserve to die. A strange annoyance came to my heart that why this happened to him and it should not have happened or maybe the tone of the book writer was full of resentment!!
One such time, a young boy got a message in his inbox and he said, “Madam, I have worked hard in my life and now I want its reward and I am not getting the reward according to my hard work”. And because of that, he was also quite resentful, resentful of society and nature/fate.
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I have also felt such frustration for myself when I felt that because of the attitudes of some people, I could not do all that I have a talent for (of course, every person thinks that he is very talented and he thinks that you are my complacency or can say misunderstanding). It is important to point fingers at the injustices of society or nature, it is also important to make noise and protest if necessary. But if you don’t process these hurtful feelings, then your protest will not come out with ‘logic’ but only ‘hurt’.
And the same annoyance that was once in my protests when I would bore people with my grievances or tell them that I was more deserving than them, the same annoyance I saw in Dr. Pervez Hoodbhai’s protests when he did a podcast. I was commenting on the lifestyle of some politicians’ children in America. His comment was correct but his comment was more of “annoyance” than “protest” which he may not have been able to process to date (I may be wrong).
We are all aware of the injustices of this system. In this system, some people have to work less, some not at all, and most have to work harder, and sometimes the work is not even rewarded. We are social creatures and it is in our biology to raise a voice for equality, but that voice should not be one of annoyance, wretchedness, and resentment but of “logic”, “realism” and “maturity”. Parvez Hodbhai must have worked harder than the children of politicians, there must have been many cases for these children, and there must have been many people who flattered these children, but many of these children have reached their end. And many more will arrive. Verily, every man reaches his end.
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We all have many setbacks in our life from our relationships and fate/nature and of course, they do happen but if you don’t process these setbacks properly they will not let you move forward in life. . An anxious mind prevents you from moving forward, it prevents you from seeing the blessings in your present and living in the moment, it distracts you from the path of logic. Philosopher Siddhartha Gautama says, “Holding a grudge against someone is like drinking a cup of poison and hoping that the person in front of you will die.” I myself have gone through this situation.
There is a saying by the Stoic philosopher Epictetus that is very difficult for my mind and ego to understand and accept, but I will conclude with this:
“Are you naturally entitled to a ‘good father’?”
no! You are only entitled to ‘father’.” (Epictetus)